Am I a writer?

I am a writer, and it took me a lot of time to figure it out. Ok, I haven't published any book and I am not famous at all, but I write and that is what a writer does, right? 

Since I am a child I have written many stories. My first tale was about an horror mansion. I was pretty obsessed with enchanted houses and misterious murders and at that time (eight year old me) I

was very inspired by the horror stories that older girls than me used to tell in the school bus. So one day I started writing a tale about a group of kids (inspired by the kids of my bus) who went to a mansion. Every day in the mansion was more terrifying than the previous one, and apart from that,  a new kid disappeared every new day. I wrote that story with different pencils and did many draws of zombies, ghosts and scary things. 

I remember myself a few years later writing a new horror story. This was better than the previous one, of course. It was about a picture; I know you may think that a picture is not really scary, but this one was a cursed picture. I can't remember any detail of the story so I'm not going to bother you with that.

When I started growing up I continued writing, but my stories were more about love, like teenager love. I was really amazed with writing romance and trying to get the attention of possible readers by getting my own attention. I always say 'If it doesn't catch ME, then it is not going to catch anyone alse', and  maybe that is why I get so upset when I realized that any of my stories is not really good for someone when it DID catch my attention.

I attempted writing a novel about a detective who was hired to investigate a crime related to kidnapping. But the story was very stupid itself; it wasn't a detective story but a LOVE story. The detective fell in love with a doctor who finally WAS the kidnapper and she also fell in love with the man who  hired her: another doctor who was the brother of the missing girl. VERY REALISTIC, I KNOW.

My next story was supposed to be my first Best selling novel, but it ended up being nothing. Why? well, because I don't know where it went.  It was about a little girl and a little boy who hate each other (they were neighbours), and over time they built a friendship. I wanted to write about how they managed to be friends after being enemies, and how they started falling in love when they were teenagers and adults.  I was so excited to write this, but one day when I was searching for the file on my computer, I couldn't find it. I am not sure if I deleted it by  mistake, or if someone else did it (when I say 'my computer', it really means 'the computer of my family'). Short story: I still cry on my mind when I remember this story which I was pretty excited to write.

I don't wan't to bore you so I am going to summarize my next writing creations: 

-I wrote my experiences and love experiences during eight grade in PDF, and It has pictures and quotes.

-I wrote a love story which was inspired by my love triangle problems of eighth grade (a very stupid story I have to say). 

-Another story that I still want to finish about two groups of people living in the middle of nowhere. (It's called AGAPI, in case you want to follow the trail of this one in the future).

-Just one chapter of a story about love and a girl who could see the aura of people and know if couples are meant to be.

-A few chapters of a story of a girl who dies and becomes an angel.

-I finished a fanfic about Niall Horan from One Direction. (You can read it in Spanish here: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/18951396-i-never-thought-you%27d-be-mine-n-h )

-I recently finished another fanfic about Harry Styles from One Direction. (You can read it in Spanish here : https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/21155923-diamonds-in-the-sun-h-s  )
(I am also doing the translation in English here: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/63826750-diamonds-in-the-sun-english-h-s)

-I wrote two 'Dialogues' which are in spanish and very very embarrasing so I am not going to show you that.

-AND MANY MANY SONGS, in spanish most of them.

I always though that you only become a writer when you publish a book, and I also heard from a famous author that he doesn't consider himself a real writer because he is NOT that good as other authors. So I always say to myself 'YOU ARE NOT A WRITER YET, YOU NEED TO WRITE AT LEAST FIVE BOOKS AND BLAHBLAHBLAH TO BE CONSIDERED AS A PROPER WRITER', and you know what? I am tired of thinking that way. I AM a writer, I have been writing since I can remember, I have finished some tales and some novels (or fanfictions), and I have written so SO many songs in my entire life that if that doesn't mean I am a writer, then what does it?

I am going to tell you a last thing to all of you who are just like me: BELIEVE in yourself and start calling yourself a writer, because if you have written a lot of things, although the rest of the world haven't read any of your work yet, does that mean you are any less? When you publish, you will just be PUBLISHED, but you have being a writer before that and THAT is what really matters. 

Thank you for reading and take care.

With love, Sofía.

How to overcome studying a career you don't really like?

For the ones who don't know, I'm studying for being an English teacher in High school level (English as a foreign language), but my dream wasn't that 

in the beggining. 

I have had many dreams during all my life; when I was a kid, I wanted to be a hairdresser and have my own beauty salon. After that, I wanted to be a doctor (like many other little girls in the world), but then I realized I was afraid of seeing blood and body organs, so I threw away that idea. As I grew older, I also wanted to be an actress, a singer, a chef, a writer, a vet, a professional cheerlader, a song writer, an astronomer, a militar, a filmmaker, a screenwriter, a psychologist, a vocational counselor, an ophthalmologist, a writer, a designer, a journalist, a waitress, a starbucks partner, a writer, an illustrator, a writer, a writer and yes, a writer.

You must been wondering how did I end up in such a career as English Pedagogy, when that option never appeared in the list above? Well, I will explain it to you with an easy word: Money.

I am the oldest child of my parents and behind me there are my two siblings, who eventually will have to choose a career for them. Right now, my family is fine in terms of money, but that doesn't mean that my father (not my mother because she doesn't have a job) can pay for three different careers. Apart from that, by the time I had to choose my university career, I won a scholarship to study the pedagogy I wanted. The only thing I had to do was finishing the career in four years (that means NOT failing any class), and after having my degree I would have to pay my scholarship working for three years in any public school of my country.

Of course that my dreams of being a writer and studying Creative Literature went to the garbage when my parents considered this new options of free studies. They told me that it didn't matter if I didn't want to be a teacher, because the degree I would eventually have, would be enough for me to be whatever I wanted to be in the near future.

I didn't want to be a teacher then, but anyway, I knew that studying for free was the best option to choose because I didn't want my parents to spend a lot of money in my education, so I said yes.

And now I am here, in my third year of English pedagogy, and I still don't want to be a teacher.

So, how do I overcome this exhausting frustration I feel almost every day while I go to University? 

Nothing.

Ok, I know that you read everything until here because you want to know how to feel happier and less stress in your careers (or in your jobs), but let me tell you that just YOU have the answer key for that. 

Therefore, I can't tell you exactly what would fit for your life, but I can tell you what I am trying to do right now to overcome this feeling of regret  that I have when I think that I should have chosen another career, one that would help me to achieve my dream of being a writer. So here are some tips:

1. Think about the good things that doing this major brought to your life. In my case I won more secury to talk in front of people, I am also less shy than I used to be in school. Despite that, I met some really cool friends and someone special; I met the boy who is now my boyfriend, my first boyfriend and my future husband.

2. Try to understand that, although you don't want to become in someone who works in the career you are studying, the things you have studied and the knowlegde you have acquired, somehow are now part of you and you can use all of that for your real dream job. For example, my improved English skills are know helping me to write this entire thing; As I am a native speaker of Spanish I should have been writing this in my native language, but I'm not. I chose to write in English and I wouldn't been doing this without all the grammar and text & use classes that I had.

3. Everything you are doing now, is going to be part of your experience tomorrow. With this I am saying that keeping yourself thinking about your dreams and the goals you want to achieve is fundamental to finish the things you are not enjoying at this moment. I always try to use the plans and  ideas I have for my future as a final prize; I try to pass all the stages thinking about my dreams, knowing that when I finish my degree, I will have a lot of time to do the things I really want to do, like buying my own house, marrying my boyfriend, having children...

And being a writer.